What he wants me to do I feel I must do; yet what he wants me to do I fight against. I know he has only good for me. Then why is it so hard to stop fighting, to cease and desist, to submit, to let go, to defer? The mystery of life. This walk of faith—Christianity is not about head knowledge.
It’s about believing and holding faith. I like that phrase—“Hold Faith,” borrowed it from someone else. But this maybe the moment of truth. This maybe where the petal hits the metal. This is that door that everyone of us will walk through. Will we hold faith, or will we flee in the opposite direction?
How easy it would be to turn and flee; and yet in this darkness lies a God-opportunity. It’s not about me. It as never about me. It will never be about me. It was always about Him. It is always him, and it will always be about Him. So what do I choose? Hold or flee? I mean really there are no other options.
This is what it means to have faith. This is what it means to trust the Lord with all your hear, mind, and souls. This is what it means to not just merely believe in Him but to believe Him. Succumb. Letting go, moving on. Pressing forward in Christ. No looking back. Gaze ahead. Eyes on Christ alone. Be still. Hush now, and be still. And perhaps this is the hardest thing I’ll ever do, or at least it seems that way for now. Winded. Deep breath in. Ahhh. Let it out. Deep breath in again. Now to just believe Him, and let Him do His good work in me. No, it’s not the way I would have chosen. No, he never said it would be easy. He simply promised I would never be long.
Well then Lord, ‘let’s walk, you and I—rather, Lord, could you carry me through and strengthen me as we move along?’ I’m pressing in. I am willfully choosing to press in to Jesus. Yes, I am a little afraid. I’m human, but he allays my fears and reminds me I’m his, that there’s no need to be fearful nor afraid. So I will trust Him. Willfullly choosing to lean hard on Christ. He’s all I’ve got. He’s all I have. There. It’s done.