Sometimes You Want to Move Forward

Sometimes you want to move forward, but you can’t.  Sometimes you want the words to spill onto the page in perfect form igniting the senses, but they don’t.  Sometimes, sometimes, just…sometimes.  This is one of those moments.  Maybe you’ve been there too.  What do we do? We just walk it out.  Acknowledge that it may not be the best day, but you’re still here on the earth – alive and breathing.  Nothing could be better than that, and tomorrow will be different.  A new hope, a new spring, a newness will come upon you if you look for it and believe.

Copr. Jennifer Upton
Barbed Wire by Jennifer Upton

The human impulse is often to push through the pain and hurt, to dive into the busyness of living life, to push down or press back against the raging fury.  What if we just stopped doing that to ourselves?  What would happen if we let it all just wash over us, and take us under, and bring us back up again?  If we don’t face it now, it’s just going to keep coming back – over, and over, and over, and over, and over… you get it, I’m sure.  Choose today to stand in the moment, face like flint, set on overcoming.  Will it be perfect? No.  Will it make you stronger?  Yes.  Will you have regret that you faced the fear, the pain, the ache, the whatever-it-is in your soul?  Of course not! Instead you may find a new vitality and strength of which you were not aware.  You may find you can stand in the storm with your peace fully intact.

Pardon the cliché, but adversity really does make us stronger – if we are willing to step into it and plough the harder ground of life.  We don’t ever get to define it, tame it, lasso it, or boss it around.  The opposite is what occurs, but we have a choice.  We can run away and away and away, but it will eventually find us with our necks stuck in the ground – as though that would keep us from being found. Or, we can stop running – face it head on and grow in ways that never would have been possible had not adversity come and knocked us off the path of our comfort zone.  This is what we call life.  We live it every day.  Some of us are doing it well, while others of us are drowning because we’re fighting the wrong cause or the wrong battle or not even trying to fight.  Just.  Let.  Go.  Learn to “be” in the moment.  Let the moment of adversity, change, or soul-shifting show you the “stuff” you’re really made of!  Heck, you may even do some down and dirty wrestling to get to the heart of the matter, and that’s okay.  You may find you were only really wrestling with yourself or some preconceived notion of what you thought it meant to be you.  Drop it, and be free: be you!

The truth I am no longer fighting to believe is now truth I will cling tightly to forever!  Here’s just a bit: Today I am free to tell you that I am a redeemed daughter of God no longer walking in shame because God knows and loves me and my whole story. He knows my whole history and hasn’t turned away. He saw every bump, bruise, and boo-boo… still… HE LOVES ME!!!

However He asks me to share, I want to do so with boldness and clarity of purpose.  When I am vulnerable, though terrified in  a holy terror, it has the power to give others courage and the ability to be brave in owning every part of their own story.  Today, I choose to own my whole story.  And now I know why I couldn’t write the hard thing before – because I kept trying to ignore it – as though it never ever belonged to me.  But today, I say, Yes!

Today, I have this promise when God says, “This Temple is going to end up far better than it started out, a glorious beginning but an even more glorious finish: a place in which I will hand out wholeness and holiness. Decree of GOD-of-the-Angel-Armies.” Haggai 2:9

I think I’ll just walk out that promise today!

Now, again, my charge… Go!  Live by just…being!  Let that being become what you do. It was always who you were.

Reference:

Peterson, Eugene. Haggai 2:9 from The Message from Bible Gateway at http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=haggai%202:9&version=MSG Retrieved March 4, 2013

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